A Little Cup of Cyanide - blog

fandom made me do it. they're very persuasive fuckers.

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 05:51:34 +0100

So, I haven't been around here in a long, long time. Last September to be exact. Well, I plan on starting this up again. I haven't been writing nearly as much as I would like to since I switched my major. Which is ridiculous, I know. Just because I'm not a creative writing major anymore doesn't mean I shouldn't still write. I love writing, but after I switched, it started seeming like a chore or something. I think I lost my style from not using it enough. So my goal is to write in this thing at least once a day starting February first. Even if it's some random nothing that'
s going on in my life at th time, I'll be writing something. Yeah, I got this idea from the lovely people in fandom.

Also coming from the lovely people in fandom, I'm thinking about starting another blog to write a bit of a story every day. I'm not sure if I'm actually going to do it, but it's something I'm contemplating.

that whole intervention thing

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sat, 12 May 2007 06:30:06 +0200

My mom watches this Intervention show all the time. It's about people who have addictions and their families are trying to help them. It's interesting. It lacks the music and animation elements that are required of anything that I might consider watching on my own, though. It just makes me mad sometimes how she watches these things. Especially when she knows what they do to her. I don't get why people watch things on TV or listen to music that they know are going to get them upset. It's like me watching The Bachelor or something along those lines. All it will do is piss me off because all they care about is getting the money. So I avoid watching those kinds of things. Why some people seem to be drawn to the things that bother them is beyond me. Okay, so there are some people who watch things that freak them out so they can complain about it later and get attention. Dearest Little Miss Drama Machine. But she's just so ridiculous sometimes that it's right on that line between "Shut the fuck up" and "Oh my god, you're hilarious."

i'm procrastinating again. i need to stop that.

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 07 May 2007 07:54:42 +0200

So, I was revising poems for my creative writing portfolio, and I decided to do a post. Why? Because revising poetry can keep me entertained for only, oh, let's say all of two seconds. Then I want to start ripping my hair out or bashing people's heads in with my computer. Which is bad. Poem revision = bad.

Only two finals to go and I'll be outa here. I should be super excited. Actually, I'm not. Weird. I was packing my stuff earlier trying to be excited, and it just hit me out of nowhere. I don't want to be packing my stuff up, and I don't want to be going home. It could be because I spent most of the year here. I only got home three times the whole year. It could be that I'm just now starting to let my bubble thin out a little. I'm pretty sure that once I get home the only contact I'll have with the outside world is through my computer. Although I do have some pretty awesome plans, I know how my plans usually work out. Look at the infamous AFI concert. Not only did I not get to go, but I lost $60 in the process, and one of my suitemates was actually scared of me for a while after that. Anyway, I know I'll be locked away in my house for the next few months. And after the progress I've made, it kind of feels like it was all for nothing. It took me a year to get where I am at the moment. It won't take a whole 3-4 months to undo it. So I'll be starting over in August, I guess.

Okay, finished emo-ing, I've been pretty busy lately. I'm sure I would have loved to rant about all my doings before, but it's only fun to rant straight after. So yeah. Let's just leave it at Lisa, yes, Lisa, has been busy. You just fainted, right? Right? I knew you would.

contender for greatest last line ever

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 06:52:40 +0200

I have to write a story for class tomorrow. It's killing me. Seriously. I had this adorable story that I wanted to submit. I have it all worked out in my head, but somehow it just isn't getting from my head to my hand.

So, last week there was some woman here reading some of her stories. Honestly, the first one was boring. And a little disturbing. But the second one was pretty rad. It was like listening to one side of a phone conversation. The woman is talking about how the roof of her house is evil, leaving bats in, and how she was trying to get rid of them. The whole thing was insane. One of those things where it's possible, but very unlikely. I thought it was hillarious, and thought it would be fun to try. So that's what I'm submitting, if I ever get it finished. Only, mine is just a three page dialogue.

And just because it's that great, and I have to share it with as many people as possible, the last line is going to be: "The armless midget and the bearded lady invited me to their wedding." I just have to get through everything that leads up to that last line.

i'm so blaming my mom for messing me up

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 01:06:45 +0100

Wow, I haven't posted in a while. I've actually been pretty busy this week. Me? Busy? That has to be a sign of the apocalypse or something. I was helping out with the gallery show quite a bit last week. I got to help make clay birdies. Most of the time I was just packing clay into the mold so it wouldn't leak when they filled it. But she wanted something like 180 birds or something. I forget. I think Melissa said we only got thirty some finished. They all got smashed in the end, anyway. I wanted to break one, but I didn't. I think my mom is sitting inside my brain yelling "Lisa, be careful with that! You don't want to break it!" I was a clumsy kid, much like I'm now a clumsy adult. Only I think I'm worse now. But any time I would pick up something fragile my mom would literally scream at me to be careful. She's one of those people who freaks out over the tiniest things. And I had a reputation for dropping things. To this day if I pick up anything fragile I'm really super careful with it. And I feel weird breaking anything on purpose. So I was standing there in the back just watching people thinking "I'm just going to break one. I have to break one after all the work I did on those things." But I never did.

It made me think about a phone I bought a few years. I was at a yard sale with my mom, and I needed a new phone. Wouldn't you know it, they had one of those old fashioned radial phones for $5. I thought it was one of the coolest things ever, so I bought it. Well, it didn't work. So I decided to do with it what I do with everything electronic that stops working for me, take it apart and see what's inside. Have you ever tried taking one of those things apart? They aren't like today's phones where you drop them hard enough and they fall apart. And there weren't any screws holding it together. It was just a metal plate covered by a really hard plastic casing. I tried pulling it apart and prying it with a screwdriver, but nothing worked. So I finally realised the only way to open it up was to actually break the casing off in pieces. It's different from just removing screws and taking it apart. It's like you're not really destroying it. You can put it back together if you're just taking out the screws and disassembling it. But when completely shatter it, there's no way to put it back together. The whole time I was breaking pieces off the cover I felt weird. Like there's this awesome old phone that's lasted this long, and now I'm destroying it. But it was kind of fun using a screwdriver to fling giant chunks of it across the room.

I have to write a response to the show. I think I'll make this part of it. After I do some major editing, and add some stuff about Nicaragua, which is what the show was actually about. At least as far as I can tell. I still don't completely get it. It's just me, I guess. She had these big biohazard buckets and some other stuff that were held together to look like a boat, and the buckets had water in them. So when someone broke one of the birds, they were thrown into the buckets. It had something to do with the birds representing hope, how they got destroyed, but they were put into the water so they could be made into clay again. The question is if they will ever actually be used again, or will they just end up being sent down a drain somewhere. Always the optimist!

it's useless, but entertaining! well, not really.

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:22:00 +0100

I got back from spring break today. Part of me is happy to be back. The other part of me wants another month or so of beauty rest. Unfortunately, I don’t have another month, and no amount of rest is going to make me look better. So, here I am. I have a week of dirty clothes to wash because I was watching The Watcher last night. Hmm… Movie… Dirty laundry… I would rather spend my night in the company of a half decent movie over dirty laundry any night. So much for the free laundry machine. I also have homework to do. I have to edit poems. Bad poems. I mean laughably bad poems. I don’t have very high standards for poetry, either, since I really don’t like poetry to begin with. So if I think it’s bad, it must be bad. I would share some so you could laugh along, but that would be copyright infringement or something.

The other day I started the ongoing job of organizing my favorites folders. I’m one of those internet packrats. I put everything in my favorites until it’s so full and unorganized that I can’t find anything anyway. And I’d probably be better off just looking the sites up again if I ever go back, considering how often I actually visit the sites I put into my favorites. Anyway, I found Snakes on a Blog among the mess. I used to go to this site all the time, before so much as hearing the words ‘snakes’ and ‘plane’ in the same sentence, or anything associated with said words, started making me want to stab myself in the brain a few times.

It got me thinking.

Wouldn’t it be spiffy if I used this blog to try to achieve some goal? Instead of just taking up web space with crap that is completely useless, I could be using it to do something great. Okay, maybe not great. I’m not talking about saving the starving children, here. But at least self-gratifying. Then I realized that I don’t have the motivation to do anything more than waste time, energy, and server space.

But it still got me thinking.

it's like a mini-dave!

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:48:57 +0100

I was watching Fuse today and Learn To Fly by The Foo Fighters came on. And I thought of this guy I used to know. Back in 11th grade there was this guy who had a pair of really bright pink pants. One day Katie noticed it and said something about it. I don’t even remember what she said. But I had to turn around and see. The funny thing is, I had seen the guy every day, but I had never really noticed him until she mentioned him. He was one of those nameless faces in the crowd. Which is probably why I never noticed that he looked exactly like Dave Grohl. Seriously, he looked like his high school doppelganger or something. Darken his hair a little and give him a beard, they would be identical. So we started talking to him. Turns out his name is actually Dave. And he had never even heard of The Foo Fighters before. Or so he says. I think he’s just getting sick of people pointing out how much he looks like Dave Grohl. He seems like a Nirvana type to me.

PS: From Yesterday is a great song. But the video confuses me.